The+Abstract+Language+of+Neurodiversity

=The Abstract Language of Neurodiversity:=

It wasn't too long ago that I was thrust suddenly into the world of disability and into the disability rights movement. I had not known of this world before even though I am considered disabled. Before my Autism Diagnosis I was known as "weird", "stupid", "brilliant", forgetful", "disorganized", "rude", "immature" and a myriad of other adjectives. Without any supports, I had experienced a number of very unfortunate mishaps but I never once considered that I was anything other than perfectly okay. Of course I knew I was different. Heck, the whole world knew I was different, but besides being blessed with an incredible IQ, I am also blessed with an inner "fight" (grit) that has given me the ability to not only figure out ways to work around my differences in life, but also the stamina to pick myself up over and over and over again when I failed. I failed and fell so often that without this grit/toughness, I would certainly have not been able to achieve very much.

After my diagnosis and after I was asked to work in the field, I sought to learn about the world of disability and Autism. It was a natural path for me to go the route of Neurodiversity and acceptance because I had always accepted me as being perfectly okay before my diagnosis.. But Neurodiversity and it's friend "social justice" are insanely abstract concepts for someone like me to learn. And I have seen many of the people who read my page also struggle with the concepts. I will be honest and admit that the whole social justice thing is not something I totally get even after attempting to understand it for years. On the surface it seems like a great idea in concept but I would not say that I subscribe 100% to it in a practical sense yet. I think that there are a number of flaws in the systems and underlying concepts that render it pretty unrealistic to my literal/concrete way of thinking. But I am open that my doubts are all be based on the fact that I do not totally yet get it versus it really being unrealistic. Each passing year that I read and learn, I get more and more understanding of this very abstract but noble way of thinking.

Along with these abstract concepts comes a new language that I must wrap my mind around. One of the words that completely threw me for the past years was "ableist" and tying closely to this brand new word, was a spin on an old word that I also did not grasp immediately The word is "privilege". I do not typically use these words and still cannot language these words in any succinct way. (I have to wonder if it is because they cannot be languaged succinctly.) Not sure but this past week I chanced upon a video in facebook that brought me closer to being able to share about them and hopefully bring up some discussion.

(warning this video is somewhat awful to watch) media type="youtube" key="qF60HxYiR-M" height="315" width="560" align="center"

As I watched this video, I was horrified. This woman clearly was shaken up, possibly humiliated and potentially even hurt. I did not understand the comment I had seen attached to this video on the facebook pages so looked at the other comments. It was then that I clearly saw "ableist" and "privileged" forming as more concrete concepts. The most common comment sentiments from the facebook and youtube site are "But she can walk" and "Stupid, fat lazy..." And many of the comments go downhill from there.

Not very long ago the Portland area Adult Autism group lost one of our own. She was a very sweet adult autistic person who had a supremely weak heart. It was not in her abilities to do any sort of walking though she certainly had the actual ability and legs to do the physical movement of walking. The point is that the woman in this video could well have a heart condition that precludes her from walking any sort of distances. In fact she could have any number of disabilities that requires her to use this chair. For people to judge her in the manners they are judging, makes it very clear to me that they do not know of people like my deceased friend nor have they had to experience this themselves. I think this is what they call ableist or coming from a point of privilege.

I would be lying if I said that I never had similar thoughts about people or that I would never have similarly judged this woman. I judged and still judge people all the time (though I am getting much better about this with wisdom, age and experience) To be fair, I did not have the concept that I was so different from other people or that others were different than me before I had my "gifted" diagnosis. I always assumed I was just normal and when I saw that other people could not do the things I did, I too assumed they were being lazy or choosing stupid. Given that I am a female, disabled, and from a dirt poor, uneducated family, anyone would be hard pressed to call me "privileged". But yet I am. You see, though I was not born with great physical abilities by nature, I was given enough physical ability along with the "grit/toughness" and even the smarts to work my way into being an elite athlete in my older years. Though I had no female roll models, no access to appropriate education and no encouragement to succeed academically, I was given enough overall abilities to find work in my obsession and eventually to succeed where many fail. Today I have much "privilege" despite all my seemingly tough starts and spots and it is easy now for me to see the views of these comments as very wrong.

The people making these comments have privilege and do not realize it. They do not understand that there are people who legitimately cannot do everything they can do. They do not allow that this woman is anything but a fat, lazy, stupid faker. One person even made the statement that this woman was being rude by holding up all of the other people despite the fact that all the other (presumably able) people had the ability to walk up the stairs right next to the elevator. If that is not an indication of all of the things that are wrong with the world today, I do not know what is.